Dear Future POTUS, Regarding Israel

You’re probably really busy composing a playlist or labeling concerned citizens as “crazies”(keep in mind that I’ve only been politically conscious for the last 8 years so I can only assume this is what the POTUS is for), but I’m here to remind you not to forget about Israel. I have three pretty simple, and factual, reasons that you must support them until all three have been nullified. So please, Mr.Prez, I only ask for a moment of your time.

  1. Alliance– I should really be able to drop my mic and exit stage right, but the “crazies” will obviously ask for more. Nay, beg. An alliance is a thing of commitment and integrity. (Link to definitions are provided due to a society obviously lacking the knowledge of the meaning) “But Cameron, they have federally funded abortions!” True. They do. That is a factual statement. I don’t believe and alliance is exclusively tied to monetary gains so I will say that we shouldn’t give any monetary support to Israel until this legislation is changed.However, in the same way that I don’t believe police officers should ignore 911 calls from employees of Planned Parenthood, I do believe we can support the safety of Israel without giving them money. We can still defend their freedom and promote their safety by means of military support. So, an alliance is an alliance, and we can’t turn our backs on our allies. You just can’t. If we, as a society, can’t decide to back our friends then I fear what is next. Maybe selling baby parts for money? Oh…yeah…that’s a thing now.
  2. Democracy– Israel is a democracy. They are. Again, it’s a fact. As Americans, we have seen the fruits of democracy and, though not perfect, we know it to be good. We have seen it as beneficial to the extent of being the best civilization to ever roam the earth and only having been around for a relatively short amount of time. We enjoy our liberties and freedoms and it would be utterly selfish and indulgent not to promote the establishment, growth, and longevity of any nation that decides to cherish these same values. If we don’t cherish THESE values, then what WILL we cherish? Maybe the ability to make “medical advancements” via infanticide? Huh? That already happens?
  3. Sanctuary– The current state of Israel was established after WW2 because some thing called the *air quotes*Holocaust. I heard it was pretty bad. The world felt pretty crummy about the whole thing and decided to set up a place of refuge for all Jewish people. We felt like that was kind of fair, you know? So, until this place becomes something other than what it currently is I’m not too keen on turning my back on them. Again, as Americans, if we can’t promote the safety of a threaten people, what can we promote? Maybe a company that specializes in selling baby parts? Wait… we’re doing what?

So, future POTUS, between your rounds of golf and being terrible at basketball(again, only the last 8 years have I been aware of your existence), can you give my friend Israel a call and see if they are okay. It would make me feel a whole lot better. However, if all three previously stated points turn to mush one day (maybe by way of a couple nuclear weapons once, or even before, this new deal with a terrorist nation ends), I will grant you room to reconsider. Until then, enjoy taking selfies in the oval office. Deuces, brah.

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