Dear Layla, a response to a response

After posting a blog about my views on abortion even after rape and incest, I received a few responses. Two caught my attention enough to actually address. One, because a friend asked me to. The other, because it was a horrendous attack on everything sensible. The latter asked me to not even bother responding because she thinks my views are “silly” and that I couldn’t know anything about real life after only living here for 21 years. The following response is from an old coworker. I will attempt to break the response into manageable pieces(like abortion) to further state my case. Dear Layla:

First, I’d like to start off by saying well done. Not many 20 something’s are willing or able to debate this with such emotion and vigor. Now on to my stance.
Thank you.

I have many ways to go about this topic and will do so leaving my personal stance for last.
Let’s talk about resources first.
You speak of babies born into certain types of families i.e. Abusive,drugged, and gangs that inevitably begat the former. If, by your standards everyone of the babies that was aborted last year in these areas was born then eventually the prison population will grow leaving the rest of us to provide for them. And I don’t feel I should be made to provide 3 hits and a cot for some looser who’s in prison for beating his wife, selling drugs, murder, and I could go on but I think you get my point.

I don’t think I ever eluded towards any inevitability. Now, I will address the notion that you shouldn’t have to support a crowded prison. I think everyone agrees that prisons crowded with innocent people sucks. I don’t believe this to be the case, though. Judging by what you said, which is a false dilemma to begin with, you’d rather kill babies that are likely to become criminals before you’d consider killing the criminals that are already in prison. I don’t agree with either. If we run into a situation where the prisons are filled with actual criminals, I’d be willing to pay the price to support the inmates. I don’t want those people back on the street. To hell with one’s daily Starbucks and Spotify subscriptions, make room in your budget to keep the streets a safe place for everyone else. I could go on, but I think you get my point.

You say these babies born to mothers who didn’t want them and people can adopt them. True. That can happen, however, the number do not support your theory. It is extremely difficult and costly for people who want to adopt to do so and sometimes they get almost there and some robed fella says no sorry maybe next time. Child goes back to where he was. Would be parents go back to being sad. You see where I’m going with this.

Again, we have a false dilemma. “Babies don’t deserve to live because, gosh, it is just so dang hard to rid of them sometimes! I mean, let’s be real! I try to get the thing out the door, but, for whatever reason, it just keeps sticking around. Why try things that are hard? Why put forth the effort in something that isn’t a guarantee?” With an attitude like that, why even get out of bed? The fact that ANY baby at ANY moment in time throughout all of human history had a successful adoption is justification enough to consider adoption. When accounting for innocent lives, I’m not sure where the line of probability or “risk vs. reward” is drawn.
Let’s actually talk about incest and rape now and my last soapbox.
You talk about incest as if you have a choice. Shame on you. A child cannot say yes to an act that they don’t understand. And it usually starts as child molestation. There are 10 year olds getting pregnant by their fathers, brothers, and uncles and no not all the babies will have disabilities or be deformed but a 10 year old body is just not ready for every change that will take place nor should it be. This 10 year old should be playing babies with the girl down the street not learning to breastfeed at 2 am to feed a child she had no business having.
Deformities and disabilities are something that can happen to anybody. Take me for example I had a terminally ill child and in his diagnosis we were told he will die several times and we can bring him back. He had seizures, lost weight daily, couldn’t eat much, and rarely pooped. He was still my precious. At 10 months of age I laid him down for his nap as usual and he died. We did get a DNR so he wouldn’t have to suffer every time we brought him back for our own wants. No. That’s not a life. That’s an existence. I could tell you another story about my sister but I won’t. You get my point. If I had known that my cold was terminally ill I might had an abortion. My husband at the time and I would have discussed and done what we thought was right.

I’m sorry for your loss, but I don’t see how this is relevant. I say abortion, in any case, is wrong and you give me an anecdotal response. Also, don’t bother bringing up your sister if you aren’t going to elaborate… Actually, just don’t bring her up. And cast your shame elsewhere. I specifically stated that nonconsensual incest is rape, and that rape is rape. There is no need to distinguish. I know good and well that a 10 year old doesn’t understand the intricacies of a sexual relationship, and I never hinted at assuming otherwise. However, if two adults of close kinship involve themselves in a consenting act of sexuality, shame on THEM. Not the baby. Not me. Not anyone else. I also don’t know how you distinguish “life” and “existence”. They are mutually inclusive. You mention that you had a DNR(do not resuscitate). The word “resuscitate” means to bring something back from apparent death. Death is an action exclusive to things that are living. Rocks don’t die. Cereal doesn’t die. Trees do. Dogs do. Aborted babies do.

Rape. The act in and of itself is deplorable.

Correct. I said that several times in several different ways

Someone, male or female, should never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.


I was raped 16 years ago. If I had become pregnant from that act I would have definitely had an abortion. I know this. I would have tried to hurt myself or the thing growing within. You cannot address this subject without also addressing self harm and suicide. Imagine, if you will, Someone forcing you to have sex. Then becoming pregnant. Having that child and everyday you are forced to look at that child and its a reminder of that event every single day. You say adoption I remind you of my first part of this debate. I know this is harsh. And some say mean but I couldn’t do it. And I know a bunch of people who side with me on this subject.

Anecdotes were addressed earlier. Abortion after rape is wrong, I don’t know how to make it much more clear. It shouldn’t be left up for debate. Cereal is debatable. Movies are debatable. The right for a baby to live isn’t. I did mention adoption, and I did refute your refutation of adoption. I do agree with you on one thing: abortion is MEAN and HARSH. I’d say it’s worse than both of those words. And I know there are a “bunch” of people in prison who thought it was ok to rape someone at a given point in time. Is that justification enough for you to write off the fact that rape is putrid?

I’ll leave you with this.
Cruelty comes in many forms. You say it’s cruel to kill babies not yet of this world. I say cruelty is forcing me to do what you want me to do when it damages the other party.
I disagree with using abortion as a form of birth control.
I’m not looking to change you or the world. I’m looking to give you a different point of view from someone who’s been there.
(Sorry for mistakes phine typing sucks)

Thanks for your support and your ideas. Your definition of cruelty could be applied to the baby being chopped up in any lady’s womb. I would like to point out your last sentence about not wanting to change the world. That is a major fork in the roads of our thinking. I most certainly am out to change the world. I want this to be a society that comes to terms with the fact that using a vacuum to clean out a womb is wrong. It is bad. It is detestable. I want to make this a place where we can all stand and fight for those who don’t have a voice. I want to make this a planet where we help fight poverty and we care for the orphans. I know these things to be right. I know there is no debate. I know that I will, until the day I die, fervently oppose ANYONE who opposes ANY of those views. I don’t care if it is a touchy subject. I don’t care if it rubs people the wrong way. And I honestly don’t care what excuse you bring. Abortion must end. Today.


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