Gay marriage is kind of queer. Pt 1.

Queer, you know, like odd or strange? Let’s be honest, rulings like this don’t happen often and even less often with such a divisive wake. I’ve been asked a lot of questions about it, you know, because a 21 year old, community college attending, southern conservative Christian is the foremost authority on said topic. As my voice was fading with the millionth, or like twenty third, conversation I decided to put my fingers to the keys and construct my final say. It’ll cover most of the major issues and why I feel Christians have such a hard time getting their point across. So please revert back to this every time you get the itch to ask me about this…please.
Q: Why do you even care? It doesn’t impact you.

A: Sure. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe. Probably. Kinda? You know, it doesn’t impact my day to day life just like the execution of 70+ children by ISIS doesn’t impact me. I still wake up and eat breakfast. So yes, in that regard, they impact me the same way. Yet, I find myself deeply and profoundly impacted by the rights that the state of Oregon now deems trivial. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, the owners of a Christian bakery are being sued for $135,000 for evoking “emotional trauma” by not baking a lesbian wedding cake. This is not a pending case, this has already happened. I didn’t get a cake this year for my birthday, think I could get a pretty penny from my parents? Of course not, because my turning 21 didn’t hinge on whether or not I received a cake. It still happened. I saw it. I was there. But Cameron, you said some rights were violated, suing isn’t a violation… Well just let me finish. Amid all the backlash, the state of Oregon has issued a cease and desist to the couple. They say the couple is no longer aloud to talk, tweet, text, converse, or go to the news about it. It’s a gag order. Really? That’s what love has won? That’s what supposedly doesn’t impact me? I have been mocked countless times by speculating that things like this would happen and people would laugh it off as a slippery slope. Who is laughing now? Nobody. Well, maybe Satan is. Does he laugh? I digress. So please remind me how this has no bearing on my life? I didn’t even mention the blackmail! The government is now threatening to take away a churches tax exemption if they refuse to preform gay ceremonies. Look, I don’t think they should have a tax exemption in the first place, but that’s a different story. What about churches that barely get by on their budget through the tax exemptions? Does the closing of their doors not impact me? Does the bastardization of the institution of marriage not impact me? Does the government now deeming what words do and don’t mean not impact me? Let’s say none if it did, is that justification for not caring? A homeless man starved tonight. Boom. Dead. Do I get a free pass for not caring just because I didn’t know him? Wasn’t influenced by him? Is my ignorance sufficient? Sex trafficking doesn’t happen to anybody I know personally, so I really shouldn’t care, right? When you so loosely justify something with a statement like “it doesn’t harm you”, then you open up a nasty can of worms. Is there a can of worms that isn’t nasty? I digress.

Q: So you are one of those “separate but equal” guys because you think gay unions should use a word other than “marriage”, right? Don’t you know that’s wrong?

A: What is your definition of wrong? If it means right, then yes, I’m wrong. Since when did “separate but equal” get a connotation? We are fine doing it in EVERY other phase of life besides marriage. I can’t simply say I work at McDonald’s. Why, you ask? Because I don’t. There is a prerequisite for claiming that, and it’s that I have to work there. I work somewhere else, and that’s fine. I make money. I’m still human. I still matter. I just don’t work at McDonald’s. Andrew Luck isn’t thankful to be part of the New England Patriots because, well, he doesn’t play for them. He is happy to play for the Colts. The Patriots set up their team. Other groups saw it and wanted to followed suit. They didn’t have to run the same playbook. They could make small adjustments here and there as they saw fit. The one thing they couldn’t do, though, was call themselves the New England Patriots. That name was already taken. They can still have a QB, still play in the NFL, still work towards the same common goal, they just can’t have the same name, because they aren’t the same thing. They are just different. Period. So gay people and activists, pick a different name. Tweak your rules. Draw a different playbook. Work towards the same goals, if you wish. You just don’t have the prerequisites required to partake in the traditional establishment of marriage. Words mean things. And when they don’t, society can’t communicate. And when we can’t, we are doomed.

Q: Why do Christians bring up the Bible when I clearly don’t believe in it?

A: Because it’s the best we have. To us, it’s life. This doesn’t, however, excuse our behavior. Take this example, I’m a manager at Publix. At Publix, I have dominion. At Publix, what I say goes. I have a set of Publix rules that I enforce. I clock out one night, and on my way home I remember I’m out of milk. I pass a Kroger, gulp, take a deep breath, and venture inside. I see an associate and begin to ask him where the milk is when I notice he is playing on his phone. My manager instinct kicks in and I tell him he should put that away while at work. He looks, laughs, and leaves. While it might be sound advice, I have forgotten that I have no authority here. I might be the best darn leader ever, but my Publix nametag limits me to Publix. So as Christians talk to nonbelievers, we often bring up the Bible because that is what governs our own lives. It’s our “manager”. It offers sound life advice, but I can’t reasonably expect you to take it as Truth. So, nonbelievers,bear with us when we make that mistake. However, I do believe any sound biblical teaching can be reaffirmed without explicitly stating verses. I don’t recall mentioning a single verse this whole time, yet I believe what I have said is biblically sound. So Christians, be more abstract. The Bible is wonderful, but sound politics are ok as well. One can deny the authority of Scripture, I suppose, but when met with facts that also line up with our faith, it’s hard to turn a blind eye to it.

These are just a few questions on the top of my list. I have many more to answer and will surely do so. I’m fully aware that I am going against the popular opinion, but just in case you might feel the need to try and dissuade me by form of negative comments or losses of friendship, I leave you with this. When Spider-Man asked Captain America how he was able to fight for an opinion that wasn’t too terribly popular(not registering to reveal his identity and be subject to the government in the epic Marvel Civil War saga), he responded by chillingly quoting Mark Twain.  “Doesn’t matter what the press says. Doesn’t matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn’t matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right.  

This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree besides the river of truth, and tell the whole world– 

–No,you move.”


4 thoughts on “Gay marriage is kind of queer. Pt 1.

  1. Satan says:

    Ironic that your name is McAnal…


  2. Phoebe Zeebler says:

    I find it extremely worrisome that you are comparing gay marriage to ISIS. And please explain to me how allowing one couple to marry just because they are of the same sex is “bastardizing” marriage? I’ve been married for a few years now and guess what- my marriage has no less meaning now because Julie and Julia over in Oregon are married! I only hope one day you grow out of this hateful, holier-than-thou attitude.


    • Hey Phoebe! I think your anger comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of comparisons. Of course ISIS isn’t the same in degree, but in this case, it is the same in type. Neither of them impact my day to day life. Is that justification enough not to care? No. I feel there are better arguments than “it doesn’t impact you”. Your marriage also has no less meaning now that women and children are raped and murdered all over the world. See what I’m saying? I’m certainly not saying gay marriage is an explicit act of egregious and murderous terrorism.

      I’m glad for you and your marriage and I will take your concerns into deep consideration. I, for one, believe I am utterly hopeless outside the saving power of Christ. No more, no less.


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